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Letters to My Cat

6/10/2014

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Dear LiLi,

You know your human loves to cater to your every whim and preference.

She knows how much you hate, "specialty litters" in your toilet. As a rule all pellet litters must be refused. Pine & cedar bring on tne sneezing & wheezing. The World's Best Cat Litter gets a paws down & a frowny face. I know for you, it's plain old clumping litter all the way.

But, Mommy has decided to get you corn litter just this once because she simply cannot carry another heavy thing, especially up the stairs. So don't give me any grief cat!

I will 
bribe you with catnip later.

Love,

Lorelei

Dear Mom,

This is most inadequate! But I suppose I can suffer through, JUST THIS ONCE! I await copious amounts of catnip. You must learn to fear me more adequately in the future.

Love,

​LiLi
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A little girl talk

6/13/2011

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ME: In other news, I seem to be having a great fluffy hair day! I'm thinking my hair is in the mood for a good puling. Is that bad?

LISA: I'll send the three little ones over to pull it nice and hard for you.

ME: Well, I really had a hair pulling of a more adult nature in mind.

LISA: *blank stare*

ME: ;-)

LISA: *gag spit choke*

JOLENE: No Way!

ME: Way?

LISA: Yank it for her Jolene.

Jolene: If only I was closer. Hahahahaha!

ME: How did you manage to make those kids without any hair pulling? Really now! I love vanilla; vanilla perfume, vanilla ice cream, vanilla in my latte, but please don't expect me to BE vanilla! Besides, a little spanking and hair pulling is pretty tame these days. Hmm. Maybe I am vanilla after all. *sigh*

JOLENE: Pretty sure hair pulling came with both of my kids conception!

ME: Of course, I prefer it with contraception!
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