The Empress Dammit could be considered an alter ego However, there's no reason I can't be a mermaid muse as well as an empress.
I am in fact, The Empress Dammit! And you can be too!
Here are my decrees:
You may try but you can't make it so.
Love,
The Empress Dammit
- The Empress is not invisible.
- The Empress is not here to make excuses for you or help you carry your old crusty baggage. As your friend, she will enthusiastically help you unpack and discard what you don't need. She'll also understand if you need to hold onto it a little longer, but she won't pretend it isn't there.
- The Empress loves you unconditionally, but she does not approve of her love being used as a carpet pad instead of a blanket!
- If asked to go, The Empress will leave with dignity, but she may not go quietly. If deemed appropriate she will personally deliver a "howler!"
Love,
The Empress Dammit
The Empress understands.
It's hard not to smirk when bad things happen to bad people!
There are days when the lingering marks of people who have attempted to mangle me with their ugly behavior and slanderous declarations, well, plop out of the water like little fish and thunk me on the heart a bit.
Some might judge me, a little petty at moments like these, to allow myself to smirk a little in the knowledge that these folks live every day with their self created misery while most of the time I bathe in love and laughter. Some might think it unbecoming of The Empress to indulge in the knowledge that she's armed with the facts and could name the names. The Empress knows where you buried the bodies and which under which carpets your biggest secrets have been swept!
Other people will roil in their negativity, insecurity and hate, but I just have to acknowledge my imperfect perfection, my ineffable humanness and shine on! And you can do the same!
Shine on! You are so bright!
Love,
The Empress Dammit
Some might judge me, a little petty at moments like these, to allow myself to smirk a little in the knowledge that these folks live every day with their self created misery while most of the time I bathe in love and laughter. Some might think it unbecoming of The Empress to indulge in the knowledge that she's armed with the facts and could name the names. The Empress knows where you buried the bodies and which under which carpets your biggest secrets have been swept!
- But knowing one has the power does not mean one has to use it.
- And knowing one has the power does not mean one should wallow in it.
- Knowing; acknowledging one's humanness and then setting that hurtfulness aside is more than power, it is empowerment!
Other people will roil in their negativity, insecurity and hate, but I just have to acknowledge my imperfect perfection, my ineffable humanness and shine on! And you can do the same!
Shine on! You are so bright!
Love,
The Empress Dammit
Sometimes we need to be reminded of who we are!
And once we reclaim our Empressy Essence we may have to give a gentle reminder to those who may not realize who they've been trying to "handle." If we are firm, and do our best not to be as rude as we get, our grace and goodwill should be evident. The trick is to rise above, not to turn the other cheek, thank you!
So, if, while suffering the slings and arrows of being taken for granted or not being taken seriously, you forget your stature, take this as YOUR gentle reminder to look in the mirror!
Consider this; the crown you wear is not on your head, it's in your heart, your hands and every cell in your body! Your woman-ness is your scepter, the wheel of your ship, your shield and your receptivity. You are gentleness and ferocity, wise with an infinite capacity to learn more , you are a fountain of love and support.
You are no mere trifle! Honey, you are The Goddess incarnate! We need more self-identifying Empresses in this world! So step up and own it!
Love,
The Empress Dammit
So, if, while suffering the slings and arrows of being taken for granted or not being taken seriously, you forget your stature, take this as YOUR gentle reminder to look in the mirror!
Consider this; the crown you wear is not on your head, it's in your heart, your hands and every cell in your body! Your woman-ness is your scepter, the wheel of your ship, your shield and your receptivity. You are gentleness and ferocity, wise with an infinite capacity to learn more , you are a fountain of love and support.
You are no mere trifle! Honey, you are The Goddess incarnate! We need more self-identifying Empresses in this world! So step up and own it!
Love,
The Empress Dammit
Your Heart Can Hear You!
*Whispers in her own ear, "Yes! And I AM the Empress Dammit!"*
"It's not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it's what you whisper to yourself that has the most power!"
-- Robert Kiyosaki
"It's not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it's what you whisper to yourself that has the most power!"
-- Robert Kiyosaki
To Empress Dammit is to Forgive!
This picture, The Empress is by artist & author, Marie Lu. http://marielu.org/
A thought from The Empress Dammit:
No, everyone does not "deserve" forgiveness, but that doesn't mean you can't give it anyway.
It is possible that someone in this world is beyond redemption, but if no one tries to see the spark of good that sits beneath the evil deed or the severely stupid action that seed of brightness has no chance to germinate.
Forgiving someone is an act of courage and strength. To forgive does not make you a fool. Letting someone repeatedly treat you ill, hiding your head in the sand and ignoring the lesson is what makes you a fool. That is forgetting, not forgiveness. So forgive the transgression then simply learn be more discerning next time!
Know that this will not always be easy! So, when you struggle with forgiveness or when you realize you are forgetting rather than forgiving remember to forgive yourself! After all, you may be an Empress, but you are still a human being!
Forgiveness may be given freely while trust is earned through experience. Forgive someone, even a little. Your heart will thank you!
No, everyone does not "deserve" forgiveness, but that doesn't mean you can't give it anyway.
It is possible that someone in this world is beyond redemption, but if no one tries to see the spark of good that sits beneath the evil deed or the severely stupid action that seed of brightness has no chance to germinate.
Forgiving someone is an act of courage and strength. To forgive does not make you a fool. Letting someone repeatedly treat you ill, hiding your head in the sand and ignoring the lesson is what makes you a fool. That is forgetting, not forgiveness. So forgive the transgression then simply learn be more discerning next time!
Know that this will not always be easy! So, when you struggle with forgiveness or when you realize you are forgetting rather than forgiving remember to forgive yourself! After all, you may be an Empress, but you are still a human being!
Forgiveness may be given freely while trust is earned through experience. Forgive someone, even a little. Your heart will thank you!
While Striving To Be Fair, Ethical & Just To Others, Remember Also To Do This For Yourself!
The Empress realizes that some of us have no trouble standing up for others who are being treated unethically or unfairly! However, when it comes to declaring that we will no longer allow ourselves to be taken for granted, advantage of, or abused, we find excuses to make exceptions for this. Well, if I speak up, there might be unpleasant consequences. It will be more trouble to do something about this so I'll just let it slide. Even though it's not my responsibility, If I stand up for myself someone else might get hurt.
To get to that point where you are truly no longer a victim, you have to make some tough choices. There may be collateral damage. If rather than going out of your way to cause harm, you are instead, taking care of yourself, refusing to be abused then that damage is not your fault. It is not your burden.You do not have to accept that guilt, resentment or anger no matter how indignantly someone tries to hand it off to you or how fancy the agenda it's wrapped up in is. When someone passes you the mantle of the scapegoat, you don't have to put it on just because you are feeling cold. Try a sweater instead! You CAN to say, "No thank you. This doesn't belong to me. It belongs to you." You CAN say, "I know you have strong feelings about this, however, it is my decision and I will handle it in the way that is right for me."
Sometimes you have to do the right thing, even if it is not the popular or the appeasing thing. That can make you feel really uncomfortable, especially if you have a history of allowing yourself to be harmed so that the potential pain of others can be mitigated. If you have bought the myth of your unimportance in the past, standing up for yourself can be nearly impossible. You'll find yourself wanting to cave in to please everyone, to prevent them being angry with you. You'll find yourself excusing the unfair conclusions they have jumped to.
But there comes a time when you have to say, ENOUGH! It is not okay for those who claim to care about me to decide that my being abused or disrespected in one situation is acceptable but that I deserve to be protected and defended in another. There is a time to say, It is NEVER okay for me to be treated like this and anyone who would ask me to be silent or to "let it go" does not have my best interests at heart nor are they concerned with the highest good. for all
Sometimes the highest good for all is to do the thing that makes everyone, including you feel the most uncomfortable. Sometimes it is far better to be written of as cheeky than to turn the other cheek! It can be really difficult to break those unhealthy patterns and stay firm in your boundaries. In the end you will have respect for yourself and hopefully, once the dust settles and the people you love aren't standing so close to the situation that all perspective is skewed they'll see it really wasn't fair or correct to ask you to sacrifice yourself. The hope is once they've stepped back from their own worries and agendas, they'll respect you and the decisions you've made.
If they don't YOU need to respect the decisions you've made. You are the only one who really has to live with yourself. Your self respect is more important than anyone else's opinion of you. This is not to say there will never be times when it might be best to make a compromise or put your pride aside for someone else's ease. However, The Empress is entitled to make her own determinations. Only she can break her own cycle of victim-hood.
The realization of one's value is a powerful gift you give to yourself. Once bestowed, it becomes harder and harder to allow anyone to take it away from you. Taking care of oneself doesn't mean your actions aren't also full of love and kindness for others, in fact the surety of who you are will allow you to see others for who they are and you will ultimately do more good out of that genuine compassion then you ever managed to do out of self worthlessness and guilt!
So stand in your truth. Lift your sword and shield in defense of your own just cause. Don't be afraid. You have the light to drive off the monsters in the dark. Don't let the distractions at the side of the road become stones or boulders in your way! Walk the path of your conscience! No some people aren't going to like it. They will in fact, tell you that you are wrong. Once you have begun, you will soon realize there really is no other journey. You can do this! I have your back!
Love,
The Empress Dammit
To get to that point where you are truly no longer a victim, you have to make some tough choices. There may be collateral damage. If rather than going out of your way to cause harm, you are instead, taking care of yourself, refusing to be abused then that damage is not your fault. It is not your burden.You do not have to accept that guilt, resentment or anger no matter how indignantly someone tries to hand it off to you or how fancy the agenda it's wrapped up in is. When someone passes you the mantle of the scapegoat, you don't have to put it on just because you are feeling cold. Try a sweater instead! You CAN to say, "No thank you. This doesn't belong to me. It belongs to you." You CAN say, "I know you have strong feelings about this, however, it is my decision and I will handle it in the way that is right for me."
Sometimes you have to do the right thing, even if it is not the popular or the appeasing thing. That can make you feel really uncomfortable, especially if you have a history of allowing yourself to be harmed so that the potential pain of others can be mitigated. If you have bought the myth of your unimportance in the past, standing up for yourself can be nearly impossible. You'll find yourself wanting to cave in to please everyone, to prevent them being angry with you. You'll find yourself excusing the unfair conclusions they have jumped to.
But there comes a time when you have to say, ENOUGH! It is not okay for those who claim to care about me to decide that my being abused or disrespected in one situation is acceptable but that I deserve to be protected and defended in another. There is a time to say, It is NEVER okay for me to be treated like this and anyone who would ask me to be silent or to "let it go" does not have my best interests at heart nor are they concerned with the highest good. for all
Sometimes the highest good for all is to do the thing that makes everyone, including you feel the most uncomfortable. Sometimes it is far better to be written of as cheeky than to turn the other cheek! It can be really difficult to break those unhealthy patterns and stay firm in your boundaries. In the end you will have respect for yourself and hopefully, once the dust settles and the people you love aren't standing so close to the situation that all perspective is skewed they'll see it really wasn't fair or correct to ask you to sacrifice yourself. The hope is once they've stepped back from their own worries and agendas, they'll respect you and the decisions you've made.
If they don't YOU need to respect the decisions you've made. You are the only one who really has to live with yourself. Your self respect is more important than anyone else's opinion of you. This is not to say there will never be times when it might be best to make a compromise or put your pride aside for someone else's ease. However, The Empress is entitled to make her own determinations. Only she can break her own cycle of victim-hood.
The realization of one's value is a powerful gift you give to yourself. Once bestowed, it becomes harder and harder to allow anyone to take it away from you. Taking care of oneself doesn't mean your actions aren't also full of love and kindness for others, in fact the surety of who you are will allow you to see others for who they are and you will ultimately do more good out of that genuine compassion then you ever managed to do out of self worthlessness and guilt!
So stand in your truth. Lift your sword and shield in defense of your own just cause. Don't be afraid. You have the light to drive off the monsters in the dark. Don't let the distractions at the side of the road become stones or boulders in your way! Walk the path of your conscience! No some people aren't going to like it. They will in fact, tell you that you are wrong. Once you have begun, you will soon realize there really is no other journey. You can do this! I have your back!
Love,
The Empress Dammit
The Empress Knows ...
The Best Thing To Do When Trying To Patch A Heart Cut To Ribbons, It Is Wise To Remind Herself!
I am THE EMPRESS DAMMIT!
I am NOT The Queen of Broken Hearts!
Love,
The Empress Dammit
PS: "Learn it, know it live it!"
