For years I did not put anything on my skin that was not temporary because I change my mind about things of an aesthetic nature constantly. This is why my wardrobe looks like it belongs to someone with multiple personalities!

I will not commit to anything permanent unless I am absolutely sure! I decided a few years ago on the general subject matter of what tattoos I would want, meditated on them until I was sure. Next began the process of placement and what will finally happen will be the design of the artwork itself and then saving up the money.

I knew Pandora wanted her mark on me and I have another magic sigil that I use that will go on my skin as well. I've toyed with the idea of a tiny chinchilla rolling a golden apple on my ankle. Mostly I knew that I wanted my totem animals on my shoulders, specifically the bat and the moth. But I knew I wanted some sense of metamorphosis and that those two totem animals are not enough. I spent a great deal of time in meditation on the subject, but have hit a dead end.


Two nights ago I had a fantastic dream that literally revealed all to me! 

I am standing in a clearing in a forest wearing a beautiful robe that shimmers blue and purple with every movement catching the light. There is a bearded man with long dark hair with me. This "partner" has haunted my dreams and visions for years in one form or another.

The man kisses me on the forehead and then takes me by the shoulders and turns me so that my back is to him. Slowly he pulls the robe from my shoulders and I stand naked before him save for beautiful artwork that literally seems to dance across my skin. 

On my left arm is the sigil for Pandora. On my right my personal sigil. On my left shoulder is a beautiful bat. In his tiny rear claws he holds a lantern. The base of the lantern is a lotus blossom. One of the bat's wings starts to wrap around toward my shoulder blade and coming out from behind the wing is a red fox with sharp eyes and a bushy tail. The fox has something between it's paws that I'm hoping will be revealed to me in another dream. Maybe this would be a good spot for the aforementioned golden apple? Across the other shoulder blade flies a Brewer's Blackbird. It is holding an infinity symbol in its beak.  as it nears the right shoulder the feathers of its wing almost morph into the wing of a beautiful sphinx or hawk type moth with the fat feathery antennae of a male Polyphemus moth. The moth wraps around my right shoulder. It appears to be lighting on some sort of flower. Underneath it on my upper arm is my personal moon sigil.

I think I have found my artist. Now it's time to work out a drawing(hopefully the missing features will be revealed soon) and start raising funds!
 This is going to hurt!

This is a vision that I had during a guided shamanic meditation during which we were to meet our totem animal! It was pretty intense!

The rapid intense drumming pulled me almost immediately into a sensation of movement. Suddenly I am skimming through the air over a sparkling sea, as if I am an eagle. The reflection from the water is almost blinding. There is so much light it is almost golden. I am moving very fast across the great expanse, but I can see  I am near land. The shore is cloaked with great pine forests. I can smell the fresh sea air and the green fresh forest scents, the damp cool humus of the earth beneath the trees and  I can feel the exhilaration of the breeze on my face and arms as I move along.

Many salmon leap out of the waves and swarm beneath the surface. Mermaids flick their tails at me in greeting and dive beneath the water. I can see a great wide stream pouring into the ocean here and I move toward it up towards the rocks and follow it into the woods. 

I come to light on a huge stone outcropping overlooking the river. A large bear is next to me and he rears up on his hind legs, but not in a threatening manner. He nuzzles my hair with his muzzle. I stretch up & put my hand over his heart and ask, “Brother Bear, are you my totem animal?” “No sister” he says, “not today, keep searching.”  

He walks with me into the forest where I meet a large wolf who comes at once to my side. “Greetings brother wolf!” I look into his beautiful blue eyes and place my hand on his shoulder. “Are you my totem animal?” “No little sister.” he says, “Sometimes, but not today.” I will walk with you while you search.

We walk along the forest path. Sunlight streaks down through the trees in dapples and sudden shafts of light. A red fox springs onto the path and skips along close to my ankles. “Greetings! Are you my totem animal?” I ask. He tilts his head , “Not today, my friend. Another day, perhaps.”

The path winds through the woods and into a huge meadow. Birds flit over head and in a rush of wings, a huge flock of moths zooms overhead brushing my hair and waving their feathery antennae at me. Before I can ask them anything they are gone. Suddenly hundreds of rabbits are frolicking in the meadow running this way and that, zigging and zagging. I watch them for a few minutes, delighted. Though they acknowledge me joyfully none of them stop or come quite close enough for me to ask so I just enjoy their presence. 

The wolf nudges me and we slip back under the canopy. On a low branch sits a blackbird. His feathers are iridescent purples and blues. His eye is bright gold. He plucks a feather from his wing and extends it to me in his beak. He tucks it into my shirt. “Take this feather” he said. “Keep it in your heart.” Then he said, “Sing your joy into the darkest night and you will be heard.”  

He hopped on my shoulder and we went into the meadow to watch the rabbits they went in a wide circle around me and I started dancing and twirling and spinning. There are no voices but I can strongly feel the messages, “You are on the right path.“ and “ Use your voice.“ Then I am up skimming the water again and coming back into my body.