So yeah. I made a thing.
And it's covered in pretty purple fabric and it's a little pathetic but not totally sad for a first attempt in a completely unfamiliar medium. I have plans to do a little fixing and prettifying. Must get ribbon trim!
I really don't need a new crafty arty thing to do when I don't have time money or space to do any of the ones I'm actually skilled at that I miss doing so badly. I especially don't need a new crafty thing that makes me want to buy nifty tools, nice papers, pretty thread and fabric.
I figured I'd just go, have the experience and make the ONE thing.
I was so clumsy at the how and the doing of the measuring and the cutting of all the parts! The assembly and gluing were much more familiar skills. Some of the trouble was due to my neropathy but I was having a tolerable paIn day.
What kills me is that while I'm satisfied at the experience and I'm not mad at myself for having a final product that is so far from perfect (because that's how you learn) is that I have a bit more of a grasp on how it all works and I'm thinking, I could do a lot better. By book 5 or 6 I might have something really lovely.
Damn it!
And then I start calculating fabric, paper, cardboard, glue thread, tools and thinking my one little book is just going to have to do for now. Nobody's going to be getting hand made books for Yule this year lol.
And it's covered in pretty purple fabric and it's a little pathetic but not totally sad for a first attempt in a completely unfamiliar medium. I have plans to do a little fixing and prettifying. Must get ribbon trim!
I really don't need a new crafty arty thing to do when I don't have time money or space to do any of the ones I'm actually skilled at that I miss doing so badly. I especially don't need a new crafty thing that makes me want to buy nifty tools, nice papers, pretty thread and fabric.
I figured I'd just go, have the experience and make the ONE thing.
I was so clumsy at the how and the doing of the measuring and the cutting of all the parts! The assembly and gluing were much more familiar skills. Some of the trouble was due to my neropathy but I was having a tolerable paIn day.
What kills me is that while I'm satisfied at the experience and I'm not mad at myself for having a final product that is so far from perfect (because that's how you learn) is that I have a bit more of a grasp on how it all works and I'm thinking, I could do a lot better. By book 5 or 6 I might have something really lovely.
Damn it!
And then I start calculating fabric, paper, cardboard, glue thread, tools and thinking my one little book is just going to have to do for now. Nobody's going to be getting hand made books for Yule this year lol.
Any of these would do nicely! *drools*
I met a mortician last night who also bakes amazing cakes. Baking is a skill that dazzles me! And decorating cakes is an art. I'm not a big fan of fondant though the things people sculpt from it can be stunning. A good sour cream, whipped cream or buttercream though......
Oh crap. Now I want cake
Oh Melancholy!
I'm sorry all to be vague and a bit depressing.
I think I may stop by Trader Joe's and get some of those "Lava Cakes" I sort of want a cake and thought about making myself one, but these folks don't have much in the way of proper baking pans.
I'd like a place to get a nice coffee and really good cake that is not so full of sugar that it's the only ingredient I can taste? I could go to Crixa Cakes but I am starting to associate that place with both comfort AND sadness so maybe somewhere new?
If I was in Fort Bragg, I'd go to Cowlick's ice Cream and then wander down to the beach and just look at the ocean for a good long time.I'm not sure I'm up to driving for a beach excursion tomorrow. I keep thinking I should drag myself out to do something distracting and pleasurable tomorrow. A museum exhibit? A movie? Or I should buy some daffodils, irises and carnations if I can find carnations that have scent! I really have every penny earmarked for practical stuff (in fact I'm behind on my storage payments) unless more work comes in later this month. It's hard to justify spending.
If I had the money, I'd say, screw it. I wouldn't wait for someone to throw me a party, I'd do it and invite all the friends who I truly adore and appreciate. It is astounding that I ever made it through my 20's let alone that I have lived this long. Even more amazing that most of the time, I am happy. I know a lot of you probably take birthday treats for granted, especially those of you lucky to have family or loved ones in your life that want to make you feel special. It may even be annoying. Some people hate their birthdays. Some think of it as nothing special or don't even want it acknowledged. Some of you probably think I'm just feeling sorry for myself and wish I'd quit bringing it up. You have no idea. Really. None. And if you feel that way, really we shouldn't be friends.
I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be no birthday, excursions or treats, especially if it requires my own volition. There will definitely be no birthday nookie or eve cuddling. I may just stay in bed, burrow under the covers and go through copious amounts of Kleenex. I hate this.My birthday was always a challenge but this is hard. And if I could make a birthday wish come true, it would be that last year my brother would have had something life changing and good happen that would make him want to stick around, looking forward to many happy years! When I search for my brother's name on Google. NOTHING comes up. It's like he never existed.
I think I may stop by Trader Joe's and get some of those "Lava Cakes" I sort of want a cake and thought about making myself one, but these folks don't have much in the way of proper baking pans.
I'd like a place to get a nice coffee and really good cake that is not so full of sugar that it's the only ingredient I can taste? I could go to Crixa Cakes but I am starting to associate that place with both comfort AND sadness so maybe somewhere new?
If I was in Fort Bragg, I'd go to Cowlick's ice Cream and then wander down to the beach and just look at the ocean for a good long time.I'm not sure I'm up to driving for a beach excursion tomorrow. I keep thinking I should drag myself out to do something distracting and pleasurable tomorrow. A museum exhibit? A movie? Or I should buy some daffodils, irises and carnations if I can find carnations that have scent! I really have every penny earmarked for practical stuff (in fact I'm behind on my storage payments) unless more work comes in later this month. It's hard to justify spending.
If I had the money, I'd say, screw it. I wouldn't wait for someone to throw me a party, I'd do it and invite all the friends who I truly adore and appreciate. It is astounding that I ever made it through my 20's let alone that I have lived this long. Even more amazing that most of the time, I am happy. I know a lot of you probably take birthday treats for granted, especially those of you lucky to have family or loved ones in your life that want to make you feel special. It may even be annoying. Some people hate their birthdays. Some think of it as nothing special or don't even want it acknowledged. Some of you probably think I'm just feeling sorry for myself and wish I'd quit bringing it up. You have no idea. Really. None. And if you feel that way, really we shouldn't be friends.
I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be no birthday, excursions or treats, especially if it requires my own volition. There will definitely be no birthday nookie or eve cuddling. I may just stay in bed, burrow under the covers and go through copious amounts of Kleenex. I hate this.My birthday was always a challenge but this is hard. And if I could make a birthday wish come true, it would be that last year my brother would have had something life changing and good happen that would make him want to stick around, looking forward to many happy years! When I search for my brother's name on Google. NOTHING comes up. It's like he never existed.
Oh come on! On top of everything else, I was so stressed the last couple of days I forgot to pay my phone bill. Great! I have no phone. I tried to message my landlady to ask her if I could drop the rent a day late this once rather than deal with all the running around of picking up my check, cashing it and driving to Vallejo on my birthday. I figured it was worth asking because I've never been late and she generally picks it up late anyway. Well, I guess tomorrow's just going to be a busy boring day after all and if you've tried to call or text me. Sorry. *face palm infinitum*
And so much death. Sending good thoughts to Patrick McCollum. His parents died in a house fire last night. Needless to say, he is bereft and at a loss. Patrick does so much good work for others and now he could use some support.
Peeking through the trees at a fiery bay area sunset!
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