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 STARDUST Should you find Stardust in your pocket Dont wonder, tis I cast it there To light your way on winter nights And sure your step upon the stair Repair the thread that once was broken With shimmer, glimmer & dancing spark Honeys the bitter wound thats opened spite darkest pitch, true finds its mark
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 The squandered sounds of all these years,
I'm tired of washing my face with my own tears! Alone in the dark Was the only time I showed emotion. Well, I've cried enough to fill the damn ocean! I know it's cliche, but it falls right on the mark. I'm all fucked up, it's no excuse! And somehow I've avoided a noose Of my own making. Tried to steel my heart and make it hard. Predators, Still find it all too easy for the breaking. So am I barely alive? Should I be proud, To have just survived while fooling all the crowd? "See me, I'm so happy!" For a shattered child the world's a stage, An aid to lock the pain away, conceal the rage! Now come you out of old dreams! Light as air move like a breeze. Well who the hell are you? Still I recognize you! You offer me a sweet release. Could letting go be so easy? Unmoved by my screaming! And you stand by Everything you promised me a hundred years ago. How can I help but hate you so? To make an end I must begin. So, the way out of this is to go in, Running through the fire. Although I've never learned to swim, For you I dive, All my masks drop like a whim! Shedding the skin that conspires to confine! And you lightly rattle my issues Like you were merely dusting off your shoes, And I am falling! To dance off this cliff would be so nice! Is it my fear of heights that leaves me stalling? Just pretend it all happened to someone else! Don't be affected by every touch and smell! Erase it from my mind! Just want to get on with a life. I've tried in vain to break it off leave it behind. Now come you out of old dreams! Light as air move like a breeze. Well who the hell are you? Still I recognize you! You offer me peace. Then you challenge me! Unmoved by my screaming, and you stand by Everything you promised me a hundred years ago! How can I help but hate you so? Now come you the "fearless" sage! A welcome foil for all my rage. Well who the hell are you? Still I recognize you! Your feet seem planted on the earth, but true wings hint of your rebirth Unmoved by my screaming, and I'm suddenly Trusting that you gave me ribbons long ago How can I help but love you so And I don't know how but still I know And I don't know how but still I know That I've already watched you come and go A hundred years, a thousand times before And I don't know how but still I know And I don't know how but still I know That I've already held and let you go A hundred times, a thousand years or more  My beloved ones...
You may not hear me. You may not see me. I may be miles away. But in the darkness, 'cross the distance don't you feel my arms around you every day?  "Dreamy Siren" Josephine Wall THE CALL OF A SIREN'S HEART Into the night I sing you still My whisper beckons you in dreams To count the stars over each hill And catch their dusty ribbon streams The birdsong leaves your window sill And follows like a shadow feeds On the light of your fleeting heel My kiss, your cheek, a moonlit breeze So, travel by your dreams propelled And by the by youll come to me Overwhelm me with your will And Flood me with your mystery And while you linger at my door Wrapped in my cloak of stars and night Ill press into your heart a map So that my hearth youll always find And wrapped inside the map a quill Parchment and a silver key To scribe your dreams upon the wheel Always yearning, turning back to me  Eris, Goddess of Discord by Telthona What if I'm lost? What if I'm irredeemable? What if there's really nothing left to love or to love with? What if under my nakedness, I am truly naked? What if I'm not just badly damaged, but irrevocably broken? What if my mother's, brother's, father's, lovers' voices will always be louder than the voice in my head that whispers, "Not true!" What if I'm sick of wearing the scars I used to think of as evidence of my survival. Why do I self-impose humiliation? It's getting harder to detach. Why did I tell you that? I'm admitting everything. Oh shit! What are these emotions? Pain? Sadness? This is really inconvenient! Anger? Where did this anger come from? Suddenly I'm awake, angry, agitated. I don't know what to do with it! What if I can't stop the flood? What if I want to go back to numb, but I've forgotten the way! What if I don't want to be numb, but I don't want to be this either? How do I tame the storm of emotions into something more coherent? I'm losing my ability to compartmentalize! Everything is spilling out! Help! What if I'm done with the "aloneness" I've grown used to embracing?. Why did the peace it used to bring turn into a longing, haunting vacuum? What if I don't have to be alone, but I don't have to be with "just anybody" either What would it be like to actually be present with someone, instead of invisible? What if someone is starting to see me when I still can't quite make out my own outline in this fog? What if I'm starting to solidify? Could there be some substance here? What if I'm likable? What if I'm lovable? What if I could relax and just be? I'd like to clean up the mess of my past but I can't bury it if I can't kill it first! Dammit! What if this is difficult but not impossible? What if I could let it go by learning to live with parts of it? What if I could feel like a whole person? What would that be like? What if I could find a way through instead of trying to get over this wall? What if I could give without being taken? What if I could trust a few people around me? What if I could trust you? What if I could start to trust myself? What if I stop asking "what if?" and just see what happens next? |
Lorelei Moon
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