Sometimes I feel like I am just an "Out of sight, out of mind person." People claim to adore me, appreciate me, to be my good friends, and love having me around. But if they don't need my help, if I'm not the one who reaches out or puts forth the effort or if I haven't inserted myself into their social event, my email box sits relatively empty and my phone rarely rings. This is with the exception of two or three friends where we contact each other frequently and equally.
Here I sit, far away from my loathsome school days, relatively happy and confident yet still having days when I feel like the odd man out, the last one picked or the invisible girl. I know we all have times that we feel like this. What are your thoughts? What / who makes you feel most loved and valued? What do you do when you feel like you aren't, even though you know your feeling probably isn't the truth?
It's not particularly bothering me today Elizabeth, just a thought. I am one of those people that while I don't need external validation so much, I do need regular communication and social contact. Frankly, I don't get it, if I don't put forth the effort. I brought up the topic though because I know a lot of people feel this way, no matter how "popular" or cared about they are in reality. To some extent we are all, "George Bailey." I thought this might bring up some interesting discourse.
815PM Sorry, I didn't get much discussion on my earlier topic. Maybe all my peeps feel super popular and fabulous about themselves all the time! How about this one; do you think that the word "crazy" is used a bit too loosely? Discuss.
Amelia: I think that not only is it used too frequently, I think most folks aren't qualified to even be able to call others that anyway. I think behavior that folks don't understand or that they're incapable of having compassion for in a given moment is frequently called crazy. And when we all have moments of crazy, seeking where it even comes from is a million times more useful than stigmatizing and blaming and being cruel about the reality that we're not Vulcans.
Kenneth: i take psych meds. but am i crazy? i see visions of the future, and i am convinced of the reality of a visit to another world mediated by entheogens and a vivid imagination. i would be crazier but i don't need to be. i have my crying jags, and bail when i am done long before everyone - i am definitely disabled, but i don't like it when people respond to my personal discourse as if i were crazy to say such things as if i believe them. my delusions are no more outrageous than the stories religious people profess to take literally.
Erica: I believe it is, and I believe that its a passive argument that no one is truly ready to have. Its an easy way to dismiss people, that others see as crazy. No one is crazy, they are " ", whateva they are feeling at that time.
Lorelei: Perhaps I smell a blog coming on.....What prompted this thought was a link to an article that was making the FB rounds today about a child star who had really made a mess of his life and was now homeless. The article quoted one of his costars as saying, “I always remembered him as a fun kid, a fun guy,” said Brissette. “He had a lot of energy. He was crazy, but nothing unusual for a 10-, 11-year-old boy.” He was crazy, but nothing unusual? Huh? How is crazy even relevant to a sad story about ultimately, the effect of early "fame" and the result of bad decisions?
That lead me down the thought path of how loosely, "crazy" gets used both as a descriptive term and as a diagnosis from people who have no business making that judgement! I think crazy gets used a lot as sort of a compliment as a synonym for funny, or brave, or to describe someone who does their own thing and has their own mind about things.
It is also over used in a rather dismissive way, to describe people who are unique, or who have had to overcome obstacles, sometimes due to abuse or circumstance that lead them to maybe not make the best choices, or for people who may have depression or a mental illness (like you, Kenne, who I would not describe as crazy!) but not a schism from reality or an inability to distinguish right from wrong. Very few people are truly crazy! On the other hand, when people are uncomfortable around things they don't understand, things that don't easily conform, they call names!
In my high school yearbook. A lot of people signed it, "You're so crazy" when they meant I was fun, funny, and different." I bet a lot of people I know share that with me. A few months ago, when I commented to a friend that someone we knew who is quite literally delusional would not be my first choice for childcare because of that, he responded off the cuff with, "Well, you're a little bit crazy too..." When I expressed my offense at that, I got back something like, "Well maybe a different kind of crazy."
Uh, back that up would you? Exactly, how do you think you have the right to call me crazy? I may be zany. I may have depression from time to time which is mostly situational. I have PTSD, but with a suburb amount of impulse control. And, most people and all psychiatrists who have seen me, which is quite a few over the years, have said I am quite sane and that all my issues are entirely understandable!
Maybe it's time for all of us, while we are using our words, to think about the words we are using as well. Not just so we can be more P.C. (groan), but so we won't come off as lazy, ignorant and insensitive. In other words, all you people using the term crazy so lightly might be crazy!
Kenneth: if you have encountered trama then a part of your consciousness is 'crazed' like broken glass - thru the lens of trauma we encounter what craziness feels like. that is scary for most people to contemplate, and often people will get angry at you for displaying symptoms. I don't have a visible disability but i am arthritic and seldom am challenged when i need to displace someone for a seat on the bus, because i am so medicated - "you need a drink? why you shakin'?" askt a kindly street person. i told him i take a lot of pills. in order to not be fucked up i have to be fucked up all the time. i'm used to operating thru a haze of narcotics and benzos and lithium and modern concoctions with names like Lyrica, Abilify, and Lexapro just to keep me from another crying jag.
Mishka: Well, out of 13 official, definitive usages of the word, only one of them refers to a medical condition.
Here is the full definition for crazy:
1. mentally deranged; demented; insane.
2. senseless; impractical; totally unsound.
3. Informal. intensely enthusiastic; passionately excited.
4. Informal. very enamored or infatuated.
5. Informal. intensely anxious or eager; impatient.
6. Informal. unusual; bizarre; singular.
7. Slang. wonderful; excellent; perfect.
8. likely to break or fall to pieces.
9. weak, infirm, or sickly.
10. having an unusual, unexpected, or random quality, behavior, result, pattern, etc.
11. Slang. an unpredictable, nonconforming person; oddball.
12. the crazies, Slang. a sense of extreme unese, nervousness, or panic; extreme jitters.
13. like crazy,
(a) Slang. with great enthusiasm or energy; to an extreme.
(b) with great speed or recklessness.
Lorelei: Thanks Mishka, Yes, I think it is the rampant "informal" uses of the term that I find objectionable. This is pretty much everything after 1 & 2. Also, I take umbrage withthe description "official definitive" when it comes to slang and informal uses. They may be recognized but that doesn't mean they are appropriate or accurate descriptive. In this case one could say that "N" word was one of the official definitive because it can be listed as "slang/derogatory"
Kanani: U all r crazy!
Lorelei: Thank you Kanani for being the voice of reason!
Kanani: i enjoyed ALL the comments, in the ones on grammer and formal vs informal. I know you had a very specific ?/idea in mind but thats the beauty of an open free discussion. it can take you places you never thought you'd go. and personally i like outside the box, like i think u do 2 sweety. maybe your little buttons got pushed. anyway just my 2 $ lol! as far as the use of the word 'crazy' i like to use it but u made me realize something. i think it says more about the user than how its used. on refection i realized i use it when i feel confused/frustrated/dont understand a friend or loved one- i dont however go around randomly calling people crazy......but perhaps their actions as in what the fuck was that about. by the by i real liked your other post just didnt have time/energy to give imput ;)' on a side note....i personally dont like people using the word LOVE so loosely as in "oh, i just love your hair'. or saying i love.....when what they really do is LIKE. Although i do like to use: Lumit!
Kenneth: sometimes it hurts my feelings to be called crazy -esp if i am being sincere. most of the time it's "takes one to know one." my relief at finally having made a break with reality lead me to aphorize "It's easier to be crazy than to go crazy." i get compassionate Doctors, and a stipend, because i have a shattering case of PTSD - i can't work. it would be nice to get food stamps. i would rely less on 'gifts from the goddess' i.e. dumpster diving - for a needed meal.
Lorelei: Kanani, I agree that they were very interesting! In fact I saved all of them as a doc. before I deleted the posts. I deleted several portions of the thread because the person who posted them got very upset. As you might guess from his sort of obsessive posts, he has some "issues." His brain is wired a little differently. He took another status post I made that was very general as specifically aimed at him, which of course it wasn't. He is not someone, I know personally, but is a friend of other friends. The deletion was done out of respect for his feelings, but I just couldn't erase all of it, it was too cool!
Leticia: It depends on the tone. And on the person telling you that you are. But in all honesty - we all are crazy, don't you think? In our very own, special, crazy way!
Lorelei: And some of us are just "Cray Cray, Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, A few fries short of a happy meal, or going down the river without a paddle!"
Kenneth: A Platypus Admiral. crazy like a fox. Real crazy [def. 1] is a line (however wide or tenuous) that once crossed leaves you with a difference. like Cain's mark only as victim rather than perpetrator's .a note on the back sez 'kick me