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Temporarily Feels Like Home

4/26/2015

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Delightfully Boxed In 

I fooled myself again. At 130am I coukd barely keep my eyes open and I was sure I was going to fall right asleep. NOPE! After tossing and turning for over an hour I decided to watch The Boxtrolls!
OMG THE BOXTROLLS! I am smitten! So good! The bit towards the end of the credits is also just amazing!
Now if I manage to fall asleep I will probably dream of cheeeese! Or I will dream that the box trolls got together with Wall-e and Wallace and Grommet. 
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If you were a Box Troll, what would your box say?

Something like, Art would be funny because it is both a thing and a name or Fragile would be funny of course, if you could pronounce it like in A Christmas Story and tell everyone you're from Italy!

 I'd probably be Books or Avocados, because...avocados! Nails might fit because I'm tough as nails and useful. Lol. I have to think about this one.

Let this sit with you a moment. It is a really powerful statement! 

This really resonates with me!


The journey of a thousand miles doesn't begin with the first step. It begins with the assurance that you can take the first step. -Andrew Cohen

It resonates with me both from personal experience and from thinking about people who have been living in poverty, abusive homes or other oppressive situations that it can also mean that if you don't see a way to take that first step, if you don't know you have options or that it's safe, you may never take that first step.

​Trapped under a kitty again!
How will I get anything done today?
​Ha! Two can play at that game!

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SPRING CLEANING

​In the swing of spring cleaning but I have to leave for a bit too run some errands , darn it! Fingers crossed for the kids to wait to come home until tomorrow so I can finish the kitchen. Progress feels good though!

I know as soon as they get home it will be filthy again in a day and that's an understatement. I just want to enjoy it for a day before it gets gross.

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​Hooray for shiny, clean, clutter free bathroom!

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The toilet is white again and the floor doesn't have a dust carpet!

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Enjoying the wide open spaces!

Every once in a while my friends go to Goodwill and try on outfits, clothes from the ladies "glamour" section and pose while making hilarious expressions! Usually they post the results and we let them know who won the "Ugly Dress Contest." They seem to have uncanny timing. It always coincides with days when I need a pick me up. The latest is outstanding! I wish I could share! Just dying!


THE WOODS ARE DARK AND ENTERTAINING

​Finally watching, Into The Woods! What a kick! I liked how they've chosen some of the dark aspects from the older versions of the fairy tales and the over the top cheeziness of the two princes; tee hee! Meryl Streep as always, is fantastic!


TEMPER TEMPERATURE

 But, Brr. Tonight is one of those nights I'm really not happy that my good heater is in storage and I am still locked out. Shivering. Can't manage to get warm!  Funny first part of the evening was do cold then it warmed up. I even got up and put my summer pjs on and folded back several blankets. When the sun came up it really got warm. Such goofy weather. Also cant seem to stop sneezing. Maybe it's all the dust and cleaners from today. Poor nose.
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Going To Get Things Flowing

4/23/2015

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MUST STICK TO THE RULES

The whole point of Fragmeantz is that I'm supposed to whip them out quickly and post them with little or no editing but I caught a couple of errors in the one from last night that really bug me. I may have to go in and make a few small repairs. My worry it's that I will be tempted to spend a lot of time and actually polish the story. And I am not supposed to do that. #cantbreakmyownrules

NEED TO GET SQUARE

Still trying to to get people to jump on the square cash bandwagon as my friend Jason ( who did it, thank you!) said, "Everyone is in a hole right now and this is literally free money!" Seriously friends. Help me out! If. You have a debit card let me send you text with an invite link and we will both make $5!
​

One of my generous friends used it to send me enough for groceries, cat litter and probably some gas if I don't go crazy at the grocery store! He asked that I not mention his name but I am humbled and grateful!

A lot of people have been suggesting
Patreon. I'm really leaning AGAINST Patreon being for me for a myriad of good reasons. And honestly, to do what I want and be successful at it I would need to invest in some supplies and equipment which leads me back to the whole need for fundraising again! *head desk*

HANGRY!

​Right now I am shaking with both hunger and anticipation!

I decided to ask my housemate if I could eat two of his eggs and open the huge package of bacon that's been sitting unopened in fridge for weeks.
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He drives a hard bargain. I had to offer to take out his huge pile of recycling, his trash, replace the eggs and he wanted me to replace the bacon but I said Nyet. He has after all, helped himself to half a bottle of agave syrup I can't afford to replace any time soon!

But, hooray! I am going to get a nice protein boost! Living on borrowed eggs and bacon and my last two slices of bread for the win!


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"CRAFTY" PEOPLE BE GONE!

My housemate, "HADES" and his lady, "PRINCESS BRATTIPANTZ" are going to southern California for a wedding. The Girlfriend who is maid of honor is pretty crafty. She decorated tee shirts for the bridal shower and took a great deal of care putting together "tutus" for it. 
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She asked me this afternoon, "What ate you going to do with the house to yourself for the whole weekend." They haven't left yet and they'll return Sunday so it's really more like, what will you do tonight and Saturday?
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For one thing I want them to leave ASAP because I have a song I want to record and post while it's fresh in my head. Aaargh!

My friend, Victoria Victrola asked me, "Why is tutus in quotes? Are they actually llamas? This sounds like "crafty" ala tori spelling on craft wars. As in tacky." 

Indeed. They are merely tutu-esque. SHE calls them tutus and they are made from tulle but basically they are just short pieces of tulle attached to a ribbon waistband that are going to be worn over leggings. That's sort of what an actual tutu is like but not as thick and flouncy. I think what she did was knot lengths of tulle around a ribbon waistband sort of like the picture but with less fabric so it's not going to flare out well. She was really meticulous about it. They'll be cute.

CLAIMING SOME SPACE!

I may have bargained for more time. The "kids" just left and will be back Sunday night since Hades has work on Monday. I may have convinced The Girlfriend to at least try to get him to stay at her place Sunday night which would give me most of Monday with no one else here too! *oh please*

I have been making a huge effort to be more social with The Girlfriend aka Brattipantz, which seems to be paying off. I just hung out with her for 3 LONG hours while she got things ready and flat ironed her long pretty hair. Honestly, it's exhausting but not unpleasant. It's just not an easy rapport because we have little in common.

At least for the moment I feel like she's more in my corner instead of working against me, but I don't know. I'm pretty sure she can turn on a dime. Going to enjoy it while it lasts. It has made an amazing difference just having them do their dishes every night. "Baby steps"

Anyway, they are gone and the house is mine. I feel dramatically better having had that protein today. Hopeful that money from Square Cash will be processed by my bank tomorrow. I am jonesing to buy fruit and cheese and veggies!

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I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends, And Sometimes I Manage To Write Things Too!

4/23/2015

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04-23-2015
The whole point of Fragmeantz is that I'm supposed to whip them out quickly and post them with little or no editing but I caught a couple of errors in the one from last night that really bug me. I may have to go in and make a few small repairs. My worry it's that I will be tempted to spend a lot of time and actually polish the story. And I am not supposed to do that. #cantbreakmyownrules


Ah yes, the whole Square Cash thing. That was empowering; get $5 when your friend signs up and so do they. For once, begging without guilt! Love, Future Lorelei


425 PM
​

Still trying to to get people to jump on the square cash bandwagon as my friend Jason B. ( who did it, thank you!) said, "Everyone is in a hole right now and this is literally free money!"

One of my generous friends used it to send me enough for groceries, cat litter and probably some gas if I don't go crazy at the grocery store! He asked that I not mention his name but I am humbled and grateful!

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451 PM
​

Right now I am shaking with both hunger and anticipation! Decided to ask my housemate if I could eat two of his eggs and open the huge package of bacon that's been sitting unopened in fridge for weeks.
He drives a hard bargain. I had to offer to take out his huge pile of recycling, his trash, replace the eggs AND he wanted me to replace the bacon but I said, Nyet to the last. He has after all, helped himself to half a bottle of agave syrup I can't afford to replace any time soon!

But, hooray! I am going to get a nice protein boost!

My housemate and his lady are going to southern California for a wedding. The Girlfriend, who is maid of honor, is pretty crafty. She decorated tee shirts for the bridal shower and took a great deal of care putting together "tutus" for it.

She asked me this afternoon, "What are you going to do with the house to yourself for the whole weekend?" They haven't left yet and they'll return Sunday, so it's really more like, what will you do tonight and Saturday?

For one thing I want them to leave ASAP because I have a song I want to record and post while it's fresh in my head. Aaargh!
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Tutu pict


VV: Why is tutus in quotes? Are they actually llamas?
This sounds like "crafty" ala Tori Spelling on craft wars. As in tacky.


ME: Well, they are tutu-esque. SHE calls them tutus and they are made from tulle, but basically they are just short pieces of tulle attached to a ribbon waistband, that are going to be worn over leggings. 

That's sort of what an actual tutu is like but not as thick and flouncy. I think what she did was knot lengths of tulle around a ribbon waistband sort of like the picture above, but with less fabric so it's not going to flare out well. She was really meticulous about it. They'll be cute, but they aren't REALLY tutus.
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919PM

I may have bargained for more time. The "kids" just left and will be back Sunday night since Hades has work on Monday. I may have convinced The Girlfriend to at least try to get him to stay at her place Sunday night which would give me most of Monday with no one else here too! *oh please*

I have been making a huge effort to be more social with The Girlfriend which seems to be paying off. I just hung out with her for 3 LONG hours while she got things ready and flat ironed her long pretty hair. Honestly, it's exhausting but not unpleasant. It's just not an easy rapport because we have little in common.

At least for the moment I feel like she's more in my corner instead of working against me. It has made an amazing difference just having them do their dishes every night. "Baby steps"

Anyway, they are gone and the house is mine. I feel dramatically better having had that protein today. Hopeful money from, Square Cash will be processed by my bank tomorrow. I am jonesing to buy fruit and cheese and veggies!

As much as it makes me giggle, I am retiring the name, Brattipantz for now. I reserve the right to bring it back should it start to fit again!

Future Lorelei here: Oh, it will. You will be returning to Princess Bratipantz for ETERNITY!


TW: I was already missing the Princess Brattipantz. But trying to be nice seems to be helping and that makes me very happy!!

ME: 
They still annoy me but the tensions have pretty much evaporated and I am reminded that I do essentially like my housemate. It doesn't hurt that there isn't another housemate yet and that they are making more of an effort in general. This is much, much more convenient and less expensive than moving.

CREATIVE OPTIONS

939pm
I'm really leaning toward Patreon not being for me for a myriad of good reasons. And honestly, to do what I want and be successful at it I would need to invest in some supplies and equipment which leads me back to the whole need for fundraising again! *head desk*

Future Lorelei here again. It's been nearly 5 years and people are still trying to get you to do a Patreon. It seems like ana even worse idea. So glad you did not do that!

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Operation Squeaky Wheel

4/22/2015

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Glad I saw this! An excellent way to spend a few minutes on Earth Day!

Except for emergency services after a disaster
​there really is no valid reason to buy bottled water. 

CREATIVE SOLUTIONS

For those of you who want to help me out right now witbout making me feel guilty or actually spending a dime, message me your mobile phone number or your consent if I already have your number and I will send you an invite for Square Cash.

Square Cash is a FREE app for your phone that lets you send cash to friends using your debit card. It's secure and really fast too.

If you sign up with my invite. First, our accounts will exchange $1 to confirm your account. Once it's confirmed Square Cash will give each of us $5!

And once it's set up off you decide to help more it would be an easy way to do it.

I have had no work for the past two months and another month to go before anything is on my books. My rent is covered but that's about it. There's no grocery money, no pet supply money, no gas money and I am far enough behind on my storage I might lose it.

​At this time rather than do a Go Fund Me or take money from friends who can't afford it I'd rather get help in a way that does something for you too! If a big chunk of my friends list went for this I could really catch up but even if I could get 20 people to sign up it would be huge! They would each get $5, but that's a total of $100 for me and NOTHING out of their pockets!

LIVING A LIFE OF NOT VERY QUIET DESPERATION

I am really trying to be positive, but it's hard. Really hard.

I let my hopes jump.up a little this morning when one person followed through with the Square Cash, another has promised to do it and three more people said they'd consider it. But now I'm realizing that my hope of getting at least twenty people to do it was possibly just dumb.

I don't want to spam people with requests but I really am rather desperate. Here's a way I could see small amounts accruing for me while doing something nice for people at the same time. I really hope more people do see the post and respond but that hope is slim. 

If people won't help when they can make money doing it, why would they help with a Go Fund Me?


I am starting to think I will never recover from the devastation of the past few years. The reality has set in that I cannot do it on my own. It's just impossible.
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I am very grateful that my disability covers my housing. But losing my storage and being locked out, unable to get in to get things I need. That's deja vu. Going hungry. My cat going hungry. Not being able to go anywhere of do anything.

That's really not ok right now.

I've always been one to jump to the aid of people any way I can, even when I myself had nothing. I've been determined that I am going to make it despite all of the things I've had thrown at me in life but today I am feeling like the bad guys might win.
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My hope is a tiny flickering flame. Don't let it go out.
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There Is A Poem & Pancakes Buried In Here Somewhere

4/20/2015

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It would just be ducky if some swell fella who knows a choice bit of calico when he sees her, and thinks my bubs and gams are the cats meow, would spend a few clams taking me down to the gin mill for some giggle water! I haven't been good and splifflicated in a long time.

​If he plays his cards right I'll tell him he's the bee's knees and plant some cash on his cheek. I might even let him spoon with me a little. But if he wants whoopee he's gonna have to pull out a handcuff!


SOMETHING TO GET EXCITED ABOUT!

Squeee!
And then wait. ..

EEK!

A POEM

STUPID MAN

Oh what a stupid man
He thought he was very clever
Pretending to throw all the gold away
And hiding all.the silver


He used every last bit of it up
And squandered his roll in clover
Then stubbornly stared at the emptiness 
And swore it was what he wanted


Oh what a sad sad day
When the sunlight has gone away
Those blue eyes too blind to notice

And oh what a silent night
When all music has taken flight
And those ears are as deaf as a stone


Oh what a stupid man 
he swears he meant no harm
Sweeping the signs under the rug
Says he never saw it coming


He carelessly wired his bomb
And the shrapnel flew all over
Then he stared right past the carnage
And claimed himself the victim


​Oh what a sad sad day
When compassion has gone away 
The damage might be everlasting 

Oh the plight of a broken heart
That can't tell that it's blown apart
And will never again find a home


​-LM 2015

A NOTE FROM FUTURE LORELEI.....

Dear Lorelei,

At least you got a lot of creative product out of your relationship with The King of the Land of Lies, The Josh or as you liked to call him (even more apt now) Josh Whedon. Oh what a piece of flaming garbage that man was, He did a lot of damage and you still carry shame for allowing yourself to get involved with him. Three years later you will still be wondering if you can trust anyone, especially yourself. 

But it's ok. You are good on your own. Yes, you get lonely sometimes, but you are loved. You are rich in friends and you still have hope. Meanwhile, you are fairly confident that sack of shit is still miserable and he probably hasn't published anything either. Meanwhile, people actually read your writing and WANT you published. So take heart, past Lorelei. You learned. 

Rock On,

​Future You!

MEANWHILE DINNER

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There's a really great book called, The Broke Diaries that a young woman wrote based on the blog she kept of how she managed to get through college with very little money. I totally relate. The writer's name is Angela Nissel. 

Well, I am officially the Queen of Making Do. When I manage it right, by being creative and also being sedentary which is fine. I have no work and no gas money anyway, the one meal a day thing works.


​Tonight I raided a bag of cooked shrimp in the freezer. I used the last of my savory pancake batter then made a shrimp, butter and sour cream sauce for the top. So good and I get a smidge of protein. Would have been perfect with broccoli but alas, no green veggies tonight.
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MORE EXCITEMENT!

Devin Hunter suggested this show. After binging the first two seasons, I just watched the first episode of the new season of Orphan Black. Gah! Why do I do this to myself? evin hunter
When do I get my next dose of crack?
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She is really a terrific actress!
OMG and the dream sequence at the beginning and then the Babadook and then then oh just the convoluted everything! Aaaaugh! I need a sedative.

ANOTHER NOTE FROM FUTURE LORELEI...

Dear Lorelei,

Hey gurl... you still haven't finished the whole series. There are five seasons. You need to get on it! I wanna know how it ended. 

Thanks!

​Future You
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