Thoughts and Words in Progress

"Unwanted moments are really the only way to discover the truth about our present unseen limitations." -- Guy Finley

I love the sentiment however, "Unwanted Moments" seems destined to describe some sort of feminine care product. Anyway..............

I've been doing a lot of processing and a lot of writing over the last few months, but I haven't really been posting it even though I've been prompted to. So here!

Maybe, these are the seeds of more elaborate things to come and maybe most of them should be on my musings blog which is primarily for writing poems, lyrics, etc Maybe I will do more with this entry later, possibly add some pictures or other commentary. Maybe I will just blog and post my writing more frequently instead of sitting around inside my own head so much! 

Some of them are thoughtful and some of them are just "silly thoughts." I will share them here for the moment for those that might need them or enjoy reading them. If they resonate with you I hope it is in a good way!

Well, well, well... 
Have you fallen down it?
Where is Lassie when you need her to go get a grown up? -LM

Sometimes things get so dark and for such stupid reasons. Too late; you've fallen down the rabbit hole. Even worse, you followed someone else down the rabbit hole. Ironically, it makes sense to you now. You know what all the fuss was about and it was kinda lame, but you went there anyway! Headlong! 

Now, it's dark, slippery and you've got a root wrapped so tight around your ankle that it's not going to be easy, and just might be impossible to climb your way out. Damn! That hurts! Damn! That was humiliating too. 

As you are stuck down there, it's going to be a while at least, you start to wonder if you even want to bother attempting to extract yourself. You're bleeding pretty badly and it just doesn't seem worth the effort. This didn't have to happen. It was a perfectly good day. It's not even a Monday. -LM

(When I decided to post this on  Facebook, my friend Rabbit responded, " 
Do you need a friendly rabbit to hold a flashlight for you?"  Who could ask for anything more?)

And cats say, YOL9X!  -LM

"There are eight million stories in the naked city. This has been one of them." 

Whaaa? I just want to know how the city got naked? Did someone take all the buildings away?
Hmmm. Maybe they jst had all the facades taken away?
Is this an "Emperor has no clothes" musing? -LM

Do not try cut that fair food on your plate or stab at it with the plastic fork. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. 

There is no fork.............

Well, actually, there is a fork, a flimsy facsimile of a fork that people who sell stuff like crepes, fruit salads, or vegetarian food at fairs hand you for their own amusement while all those turkey leg gripping carnivores mock you! (Sometimes if you are lucky, you might get a spork, but that's of little improvement! Fair food really should be served on a stick! Crepe on a stick I say! There's a place in Berkeley that wraps their crepes up in foil instead of foiling their customers with a paper plate and a plastic fork whose tines snap off with the first failed cut! 

(And yes, I have watched The Matrix too many times!)

"If your parents ever measured you as a child, they had you stand against a wall, and made a little pencil mark on the wall to show your growth. They did not measure you against your brother, or the neighbor's kids, or kids on TV. When you measure your growth, make sure to only measure your today self by your past self. If you compare your relationships, your success, or your anything against anyone else, you are not being fair to you. Everyone has a different path, a different pace, and different challenges to face along the way." -- Doe Zantamata 

Actually my parents measured me against all kinds of ridiculous comparisons, supposed peers that I neither wanted to be like nor probably ever could so I didn't try to be anything other than myself, mostly. This lead to much consternation in my early life and to much depression because I was never accepted by people I so badly wanted to be accepted by. However in practice it has lead to much more happiness. I claim my uniqueness. my eccentricities, the wholeness of my heart, my contributions and my art, my challenges and my pain, the ferocity of my laughter, the grand adventure and the embrace the lessons that come with my own personal failures and triumphs! The fact that my path is mine alone does not mean it is a lonely path! I measure my growth with squiggly lines in silver pen! -LM

Things that are given undue importance: guilt, obligation, "shoulds" and "ought to's," being "nice," defined morality....

Things that aren't given enough importance: self care, happiness, responsibility, ethics, love, honesty.... LM

"It doesn't matter what you did or where you were... it matters where you are and what you're doing. Get out there! Sing the song in your heart and never let anyone shut you up!" 
- Steve Maraboli

That's what I've been talkin' 'bout! It's your life. Let the pressures of those who tell you what you should do, who you should be, and that other things should take priority over your happiness and well being just slide of your back little duck! You know who you are, now go be it! -LM

Sometimes when there's a "hole in your heart" it really, really feels like there's a hole in your heart!

Maybe not as catchy as, "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em" but ....... 

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well." 
-- Jack London

Speaking of hearts....I wonder....How many times one can get punched in the heart, literally or metaphorically, before it stops? -LM

"Of all the people on the planet, you talk to yourself more than anyone. Make sure you are saying the right things." -- Martin Rooney

Go on & listen to that little voice in your head, if it lifts you up! If it talks smack about you, it's time for a new little voice! -LM

Free side of sarcasm with every fuck not given!
Order your apathy now and get a kitten! -LM

"There Will Be Blood" Vs There Will Be Tequila. Possibility occurs, There will be both.........LM

There are people that are no longer in my life for a variety of reasons and people who are sort of in my life and yet not, also for a variety of reasons. I'm still going to miss them and no amount of tequila is going to change that!

(I've never understood the whole drinking your sorrows away thing. There's not a lot worse than being sad AND drunk to me) -LM

If you've ever been in the position where someone is about to make a personal decision that will change your life, you are pretty sure they have already made this decision, but they are stalling because they don't want to see the pain on your face when they let you know the decision doesn't favor you, you experience an anxiety like no other. You want to be wrong but you are afraid they are waiting because they don't want to hurt you and part of you doesn't mind waiting because you do not want to hear bad news. 

So maybe you're both in denial. You know the decision you think it is will be wrong for both of you. You know the other person doesn't even want to make the decision. They're weighing out consequences motivated by fear, guilt and cowardice so the decision is both difficult AND easy. The cowardly decision is always easy, isn't it? 

In every moment while you wait you understand completely all the cliche descriptions of stress; the lump in the throat, the weight on the chest, the icicle in the stomach. But no one warned you that time stops for you. The rest of the world seems to rush by at high speed, while you wait without breathing for as long as it takes. You hold hope in a bubble and pray that it won't burst. -LM

"Sometimes you have to let everything go -- purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything -- whatever is bringing you down-- get rid of it. Because you will find that when you are free, your true creativity, your true self comes out." - Tina Turner

I'm afraid the world can't handle my true self, but here's to that moment of ultimate clarity in which I give myself permission to make the ultimate purge, the ultimate freedom of letting EVERYTHING go!-LM