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4 Things Worth Considering, A Visit From Mr Nancy, The Return of Mirth (and some things to make you smile or smirk)

7/31/2012

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*As usual, there are lots of little "Easter Egg" links throughout this multi-faceted post. They'll lead you  to images. info, videos, etc. Click as you go or do it the second time around. I hope you enjoy! 


Today (Monday, July 30th) has been an interesting day full of things to reflect on: 

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Lessons I still need to work on. 

 I've had a habit of forgetting about my boundaries at times because:  A) I desperately need money and  B) I want to make people happy.


 I thought I was getting better at it, however, today both my time management skills and my boundaries slipped as I tried to squeeze in a meeting with someone who had potential work for me when I knew the timing was unlikely to work and sure enough it didn't. 


After a long hard weekend culminating in exhaustion and insomnia, I overslept, which left too small a window to cram the meeting in before an appointment and a kitty care stop I had scheduled for later. The result; both of us were inconvenienced and the potential work has been put off, though granted, to a more sensible time.


 Lorelei, just say, “no,”  If it won’t work. It’s OK!


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Happy place moments. 

When I walk through my neighborhood I see and experience things you won’t find everywhere else, like being paid a compliment by, Mr Nancy *(Anansi, see note below), like a band playing on top of an, “Occupy” bus, like a yard bursting with flowers, gnomes and gargoyles, lofts that couldn’t possibly be lofts next to a carriage house that could be, or a bit of garbage on a tree stump that looks more like an offering carefully placed than random items thoughtlessly discarded!
 * Slide show of snapshots from my walk to follow.

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Affirmation that my friends are awesome and even people that don’t know me think I’m worth investing some energy in. 

Molly Blue Dawn swooped me up so I could take care of a kitty today and also drove me to pick up some gorgeous silk hanging lantern-style lamps  (Sort of like these) that a woman I’ve been corresponding with because of  Freecycle was giving me. 

I’m thrilled that anyone bothers to read this blog and ecstatic if they bring something positive away from it. This woman wrote, “I read your blog (well, part of it). It is very moving and inspiring and I wish you the best. Your generosity in the face of such difficulties is amazing! “ Wow! That was kind of awesome to read in the middle of trying times!

She has passed quite a few things my way as she’s been purging at home and while doing so has been incredibly thoughtful. This evening I finally met her, her husband and played peek-a-boo with her adorable toddler! 

She likes the idea of what I call my “ritual soaps” (Using the power of intention along with luxurious scented soaps to make bathing a mindful experience, washing the dirt away and manifesting your desires at the same time!) and has some awesome ideas I can incorporate.

 It’s nice when people who don’t even know you are rooting for you! And kinda awesome when you get to meet interesting people in ways you don’t expect. 

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My therapist wants me to get in touch with my anger. 

Hmm. Does he really want to unleash my “big green guy?” 

I have a LOT to be angry about and justifiably so. When I expressed to him my ambivalence about directly blaming a couple of people for a big portion of the situation I’ve been struggling with, trying to let them off the hook because they originally meant well and because I always try to look at my part in things, he pointed out that Lady Justice wears a blindfold so that she can judge fairly. He suggested that my holding them accountable was indeed the fair assessment and that maybe it’s time I stopped buying into other people trying to shift the blame on me when they are the ones who have behaved badly. Interesting. 

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Shoving those obstacles aside!

So, I decided to take advantage of a more well placed rage and go attack the stuff I have stored in the basement. But first I had to attack the stuff surrounding it.

We have a huge basement and my landlady has issues with it getting too full of people’s stuff. Sometimes when one of us goes down to reset the router she can be heard raising her voice in a panic, “You’re not putting anything else in the basement are you?  

From the beginning, I had been assured of a certain amount of space and was even encouraged to set up a work area down there. I’ve been very careful not to spread my stuff out any further, even if I add to it. But lately every time I go down there mystery stuff is either on top of mine or piled in the way so I can’t get to my things. I move it away and the pile of oddities keeps returning, each time oozing over more area and becoming more difficult to navigate!

Tonight, I headed down into the dank dim underbelly of the house cursing in anticipation, took the stuff off of my things, moved it over so I can get to my boxes and even sit at my desk. I reorganized my area. By the time I was done, I was dirty, and sneezing and too tired to do anything else, but I didn’t care. If my stuff gets buried again, heads will roll! 

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And now to Expand on the aforementioned Mr Nancy (Anansi) reference:

Walking through the hood, I meet some real characters and I get some interesting reactions when I make eye contact, smile and say, "Hello!" 

(I know, I know, I would drive people in New York crazy!)

So I shared this with Molly Blue Dawn and as usual, she knew just what had happened:

Today, as I'm walking to BART  I see an older, very dapper African American gentleman, in a pumpkin orange suit and derby type hat, with a purple shirt and tie. It wasn't garish, it looked sharp, at least on him. Everything was perfect, not a stich out of place! He was carrying a curious object made of polished wood which looked like it could have been a musical instrument or a religious item, but I couldn't get a good look at it!

I wanted to ask if I could take his picture, but I had a feeling that if I stopped to talk to him I'd have a hard time getting away! I have to say that I also wondered if I would look later and find the picture hadn’t turned out or had disappeared. It was one of those weird moments that doesn’t feel quite real.

I smiled and said, "Hello, how are you?" while continuing to walk. 

He smiled real big as he passed and then stopped and said, "Well, hello beautiful. Now I mean that, you are really beautiful, you just keep on doin' what youre doin'' 

When I said, Thanks, but didn't stop, he stood there a minute and then just sauntered on.

Molly said, "You know who that was, don't you? Mr Nancy!" I think she could be right! 

The Return of Mirth!!!

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I have been going through a real downer dip of the cosmic yo yo this summer. That snap upward that follows hitting the end of the string this time really hurt. There are days that it seems a more constant peace of mind and a chance at real stability are in site and yet it also feels like a mirage, a place I can never quite reach.

My tenacity always kicks in in the face of despair. I find my happy places where I can; my cat, my lovely friends, the constant click of my camera, flirting relentlessly, finding ways to be creative, being of service to others, letting my voice sing loud and true, the good company of Hobbit-like friends and lovers and laughter by any means! If I can instigate that laughter all the better!

Yes, things are improving, but l am still really stressed . My body is mad at me for pushing it in ways that I shouldn't because I still have transportation issues. It's difficult to turn down work or be passed up for jobs because I don't have a car.  I'm still short on my rent & phone payments every month. If people weren't making donations, I wouldn't have household necessities or toiletries at all. I've pushed through some really awful personal events as well as dealing with the horrible injury and subsequent death of one of our household cats!

Despite this last bout of suck, I'm happy to be bringing levity back into my life. For a couple of weeks there I couldn't laugh at anything. Life without "silly" is like being stuck in a bucket of sludgy grey wallpaper paste that's about to be used to put up beige paper with flocked mushrooms on it; just imagine the worst patterns of the 70's, but with less color. Yeah, that about sums it up! 

Give me my wild vibrant colors of mirth and silliness back and I can make something beautiful out of that! 



Here are some scenes from my walk through my West Oakland neighborhood 07/30/2012
* Below is a plethora of all kinds of little jokes, cuteness, and silly  images that my friends have posted or I've come across; things that have made me smile, smirk or giggle. You can stop the player anytime or click through manually. If you're having a bad day, come back and use it as fodder for cheering up. *Warning there are some political jokes and some blue humor so if you are easily offended....Wait! Does ayone easily offended actually read MY blog? Enjoy! 
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This Transformation....It's making Me wait... Or is it?

8/31/2011

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Magic is a wonderful thing; a productive process and ever changing energy! When thinking of working a magic spell one might picture a complicated or formal process,carefully choosing the day, time and phase of the moon, and special ingredients! Incantations and rituals all would be chosen to assist in the desired outcome. However, there are many types of magic spells and I've found the most effective ones often involve no formal process at all. Sometimes you don’t even think about it and you’re working magick!

Some people believe magic involves wielding an actual force outside of oneself. There may be some truth to that and it certainly can be helpful, but I believe that magic is largely a matter of psychology, or positive thinking. It really is all about the power of intention & will! And imagination, of course!

An effective spell can be as simple as saying an affirmation out loud until it sinks in, choosing what items of jewelry to put on, or cooking a special meal. When I sit and put on my makeup or create a scent to wear each day, I am working magic. I often do cooking or cleaning magic. Put the right intent into the most mundane task and it becomes a powerful spell!

Monday night was the new moon. New moons are considered good times to do "banishing" spells, let go of negative energy, bad habits and transformative work. I have been dealing with some  difficult circumstances of late. There have been a lot of changes in my life. In many ways this is causing me to become a different person, yet it has also helped me to affirm the most essential, most genuine parts of myself. Coming through the fire, I learn who I am and despite what some people may contrarily say and think, who I am not.

I've been getting lots of excellent advice about cleansings and uncrossings. I've also been encouraged to do some transformation work. Anticipating this new moon, I've been collecting items for a ritual. A friend even gave me a magnificent, perfect skin her snake had shed! How perfect a symbol for transformation is that?

Often the well laid out plan gets pushed aside by something unexpected and ridiculously simple. That night, I realized I had started working my transformation spell without even knowing it. The day was full of false starts. Eris and Mercury in some kind of tug of war! It drifted along in a way that resisted all sense of purpose. I finally gave up trying to push it and went with the flow which included getting off the wrong freeway exit and meandering around San Francisco until a visit I had intended to last a couple of hours became about 30 minutes and a planned prompt arrival in Berkeley at 830 became 850!

But it all worked out gloriously.

The friend I was visiting in SF is new in my life. She is literally going through transformation right now and has decided her ultimate gender is "to be determined!" She is an amazing, inspiring and hella fun person! She doesn't judge me. In fact she really gets me, and my sense of humor.We met quite by serendipitous accident. I wanted to go to a friend's birthday party in the city, didn't have a ride, then got one at the last minute, but time was limited. However, I showed up at the right time evidently, because we met!.

Spending 3o minutes having awesome coffee, bitching, talking, laughing and hugging someone who is the embodiment of transformation is a pretty good start, eh?

I rushed off to Berkeley,sure that my waiting friend would be frustrated with me and that the restaurant would close. But, he was awesome, totally patient and understanding. Instead of making me feel self conscious about not having money or like some kind of pariah because of my troubles. He graciously treated me to dinner, listened, offered help and advice, and even continued our conversation after the restaurant closed. To have someone, who is making bold changes in his own life, and whose judgement I hold in high esteem confirm that my circumstances, though affected by some bad choices are not my fault, that I'm working hard to change them and doing the best I can, for someone to actually see me for who I really am and recognize what I'm doing to improve is pretty powerful medicine.

The road ahead continues to be daunting, however, I left feeling so much better about myself and my outlook for the future. I rushed home to grab the things I needed for my spell! It was late, but I still had time, in fact by the time I got back to my house-sitting job the time would be perfect! I got to my front door and dug in my bag for my keys only to realize I had left them in the South Bay!

At first I was frustrated. Then I had to chuckle because this day had been determined to go its own way right from the start! Nothing to do, but head back & just work something out!

After a few miles on the road I realized I was hearing song after song about, change, transformation, cleansing, being seen for who you really are, etc. something clicked and a sense of peace slipped over me. Though I might well decide to do something with that snake skin next month, I didn't need to do a big spell tonight. I had simply been doing one big transformation spell all evening without even thinking about it. I was cleansed and transformed by the Phoenix fire of conversation, love and acceptance by other phoenixes.

Wow! And blessed be!
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Magickal Marks

8/27/2011

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Venus Rose, The Collector & I started our weekend off with a couple of magical art shows! First off was the dreamy surrealist works of David Daniels! Unfortunately this was only a two night show. Every piece was like walking into part of a dream!

The ever generous Collector bought me a small postcard of a mermaid with a fish in her lap. I now have her posted above my bed along with Nut & Geb. She'll remind me when I wake up and before I fall asleep of who I am and who I'm going to be!

The second show featured a lot of interactive works by Sophia Pousson!  Climbing up intp a room where the walls were covered with chalkboard paint we were enticed to add our own magical marks! Venus chose to draw a big beautiful Oshun veve. I drew for the first time in public, I believe, my Pandora sigil and of course a nod to milady Eris with a aptly inscribed golden apple!

Ah, the cycle of temporary art installations!Death and renewal! There is magic in collaborative creativity and temporary inscriptions. The entire piece will be deconstructed in a couple of weeks but meanwhile it crackles with the energy & communicative scribbles of unexpected artists and more deliberate ones!

What a fitting end to Mercury's latest retrograde!


 
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Eris' Golden Apple! KALLISTI!
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Pandora's sigil. This will be inscribed on my skin soon, but I haven't decided where yet. Any suggestions?
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