Not doing well.
Dear Brain.
You do not need to go through bouts of severe insomnia followed by 10-20 hours of sleep. Really, trust me.
Right now, I really, really miss Kaiser insurance. At the time Temescal Cafe was sold and I was not able to pay the insane fees to keep my insurance through COBRA, I had only recently been diagnosed with MS. My neurologist was also trying to diagnose my sleep disorder. For a while he thought I had KLS, also known as Sleeping Beauty Syndrome (read about it - it's just horrible) but while I did have the pattern of sudden onset of periods of excessive sleep which just as suddenly turns to a more normal pattern for a while, I didn't have the particular cognitive issues when I woke up. So, he was on a mission to find out exactly what I did have going on.
If the ACA had been in place then, I'd still have Kaiser and would have gotten a lid on this years ago.
I love many things about the clinic I go to now, but I have received negligible help for my MS. I haven't had a single MRI of my brain, which is recommended annually, since I left Kaiser. My doctors have mentioned sending me for a sleep study multiple times and not followed through. It took months to get an X-Ray after falling and possibly injuring my spine. I am in excruciating pain, got the X-Ray but they scheduled an appointment several months away to go over results. I was able to change that appointment to the end of May, which is also the soonest I will be able to discuss antidepressants or push about sleep studies again.
If you have good health care, count your blessings. I just want to live the best life I can within my limits. I really don't believe I should be limited this much though. Too bad Republicans seem to think I should just die. Because that's what it really boils down to doesn't it? If they do what they really want and take away "entitlements" like Social Security and Medicare, I would die and quite quickly too. As it is, at least I am alive even if I am not living.
Dear Brain.
You do not need to go through bouts of severe insomnia followed by 10-20 hours of sleep. Really, trust me.
Right now, I really, really miss Kaiser insurance. At the time Temescal Cafe was sold and I was not able to pay the insane fees to keep my insurance through COBRA, I had only recently been diagnosed with MS. My neurologist was also trying to diagnose my sleep disorder. For a while he thought I had KLS, also known as Sleeping Beauty Syndrome (read about it - it's just horrible) but while I did have the pattern of sudden onset of periods of excessive sleep which just as suddenly turns to a more normal pattern for a while, I didn't have the particular cognitive issues when I woke up. So, he was on a mission to find out exactly what I did have going on.
If the ACA had been in place then, I'd still have Kaiser and would have gotten a lid on this years ago.
I love many things about the clinic I go to now, but I have received negligible help for my MS. I haven't had a single MRI of my brain, which is recommended annually, since I left Kaiser. My doctors have mentioned sending me for a sleep study multiple times and not followed through. It took months to get an X-Ray after falling and possibly injuring my spine. I am in excruciating pain, got the X-Ray but they scheduled an appointment several months away to go over results. I was able to change that appointment to the end of May, which is also the soonest I will be able to discuss antidepressants or push about sleep studies again.
If you have good health care, count your blessings. I just want to live the best life I can within my limits. I really don't believe I should be limited this much though. Too bad Republicans seem to think I should just die. Because that's what it really boils down to doesn't it? If they do what they really want and take away "entitlements" like Social Security and Medicare, I would die and quite quickly too. As it is, at least I am alive even if I am not living.
A PEEK AT LAST NIGHT'S BRAGGED ABOUT EATS
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Not sure yet, if The Insomniac's Kitchen is going to stir up a late night meal for me and J. Last I checked he wasn't hungry and he did let me make a sammich from his leftover egg salad. I think there was enough mayo in that egg salad to please a whole bus full of hungry southern picnickers!
One of the few accomplishments I've made during my waking hours the past couple of days was dinner. Friday's dinner disappeared before I got a photo, but I had the leftovers as part of last night's feast.
The rice dish was a marvelous slow cooked combo of shredded chicken, coconut, garlic, bell pepper, eggplant, yellow squash, mushroom, corn, green beans and ginger cooked in coconut cream and chicken broth.
The last bit of it is here with scrambled eggs, english muffin, potatoes, and kale, mushrooms, carmalized onions and veggie sausage.
Soooo good.
One of the few accomplishments I've made during my waking hours the past couple of days was dinner. Friday's dinner disappeared before I got a photo, but I had the leftovers as part of last night's feast.
The rice dish was a marvelous slow cooked combo of shredded chicken, coconut, garlic, bell pepper, eggplant, yellow squash, mushroom, corn, green beans and ginger cooked in coconut cream and chicken broth.
The last bit of it is here with scrambled eggs, english muffin, potatoes, and kale, mushrooms, carmalized onions and veggie sausage.
Soooo good.
IF WISHES WERE HOUSES
This is what I need and I could probably fund raise $4,000 but finding someone who would let me put it on their land or finding land I could afford without prohibitive permits and regulations would be difficult. I've run into the same problem with tiny house or RV living ideas.
If not me, huzzah for El Salvador!
If not me, huzzah for El Salvador!
THE INSOMNIAC'S KITCHEN GOT COOKING AFTER ALL
Well, I guess I did one thing today. I unfortunately slept through a birthday gathering that I had finally psyched myself up to go to. I always feel awkward because I don't have money to spend and everyone else will be eating and drinking, but I had planned to eat before I left and borrow money for a couple of beverages. Nope.
I woke up at 1PM, started to get up and somehow went back to sleep again, I woke up just before 5PM.
Artist In Residence offered to bang on my door tomorrow. Just thinking about that gave me anxiety. I told him, no. The last thing you should do to a person with PTSD is scare or startle them awake. I made him promise not to knock, but to try texting me instead. If I don't wake up, I don't wake up.
So today, what I accomplished was
I woke up at 1PM, started to get up and somehow went back to sleep again, I woke up just before 5PM.
Artist In Residence offered to bang on my door tomorrow. Just thinking about that gave me anxiety. I told him, no. The last thing you should do to a person with PTSD is scare or startle them awake. I made him promise not to knock, but to try texting me instead. If I don't wake up, I don't wake up.
So today, what I accomplished was
- A small snack
- A teeny bit of writing
- Got my car moved for street sweeping (Thank you Gladys)
- Did a small walk, sat by the lake
- Listened to 75% of a podcast episode
- Made a fabulous dinner
- Tried to do a PayPal payment for AIR but my PayPal has gone totally FUBAR again wanting me to prove my identity. My DL doesn't match my mailing address. Dammit!
By special request: Cheesy Pasta with meatballs a la Trader Joe's
with onion, yellow squash, eggplant and mushrooms.
with onion, yellow squash, eggplant and mushrooms.
Heh. That's how we roll.
Also, how we make sure my roommate is not actually a starving artist.
Also, how we make sure my roommate is not actually a starving artist.
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