I'm trying to fight the feeling of deja vu and I'm telling myself, this time will be easier, that it's just a last step in the transition from my life flipping upside down to a simpler but happy productive life. I know it will get better but Jai Ganesh and Hail Durga, this is tough and I don't know how I'd have even made it to here without you, my wonderful community!
After losing my home in 2011, I was a bit of a gypsy, about 10 different sublets, couches and house-sitting gigs in the course of a year before finding this place.Some were lovely, others were really terrible, but I made it through and have slowly been working towards what I have often referred to, as that feeling of being a real person again! Being homeless with a kitty is really difficult! I am not looking forward to doing the same thing over again!
As many of you know I am trying to get moved out of the formerly zen now extremely hostile environment I've been living in for two and a half years. I was really gratified to have made it a place where people would say uneasily, "Oh you live in West Oakland." Then they'd see the yard with it's weeds and trash, the peeling paint and broken windows, the old ambulance and the bus in the driveway and walk inside dubiously, only to exclaim, "Wow! This is nice! You've made it so homey. I LIKE coming over to your place."
A few months ago that abruptly changed. Our landlady declared she wanted a party house over stable, drama free tenants who all got along. She said she didn't want to rent to someone on disability and she wanted me out. My housemates were horrified. There was a resounding, "if she doesn't want you here, we aren't staying."
A few months ago that abruptly changed. Our landlady declared she wanted a party house over stable, drama free tenants who all got along. She said she didn't want to rent to someone on disability and she wanted me out. My housemates were horrified. There was a resounding, "if she doesn't want you here, we aren't staying."
    |  I started out with pretty much nothing. My housemates had less than I did and I'm pleased that I made it a lovely place to hang out full of art and many comforts! My landlady considers books, "bad feng shui" and called me a "hoarder." She hated my "aesthetic" however she is fine with people just throwing garbage on the floor. I will never understand this. I thought I had taken more photos of the house over the past couple years as I made it cozy, but if I did I couldn't find them.  |     |
I started looking for a place in November and after the first of my housemates moved out in January, my landlady for the first time moved someone into the room without consulting any of us, a clear statement that she didn't consider the three of us that remained part of her future house of tenants. She let this girl move in within an hour of the former occupant's exit. At first she seemed sweet, but that lasted until the first time someone told her, "no." She became manipulative and abusive to everyone in the house, but especially to me!
Other than doing her dishes, she doesn't clean up after herself. She continuously piles trash up until it spills out of the cans onto the floor. In just over 3 months she has taken the kitchen trash out and tidied the common areas only once, when she was expecting a "guest" from out of town.She has continuously invited homeless people to stay here rent free, indefinitely, without our permission until she personally gets annoyed with them. This has happened on three occasions that I am aware of and these freeloaders have been here for a little more than half of her tenancy. She smokes so much pot that I've started to have breathing problems.
When she found she couldn't pout me into submission she resorted to pouting and door slamming, screaming and threats. I had to call the police on her one night when she threatened to drag my couch out onto the street. She borrowed and in some cases, just appropriated, property of mine and refused to return it until I publicly posted that I was going to have to file police report for theft. Life here quickly became a nightmare!
Other than doing her dishes, she doesn't clean up after herself. She continuously piles trash up until it spills out of the cans onto the floor. In just over 3 months she has taken the kitchen trash out and tidied the common areas only once, when she was expecting a "guest" from out of town.She has continuously invited homeless people to stay here rent free, indefinitely, without our permission until she personally gets annoyed with them. This has happened on three occasions that I am aware of and these freeloaders have been here for a little more than half of her tenancy. She smokes so much pot that I've started to have breathing problems.
When she found she couldn't pout me into submission she resorted to pouting and door slamming, screaming and threats. I had to call the police on her one night when she threatened to drag my couch out onto the street. She borrowed and in some cases, just appropriated, property of mine and refused to return it until I publicly posted that I was going to have to file police report for theft. Life here quickly became a nightmare!
All of my trustworthy and awesome roommates have escaped now and the place has been transformed very quickly from a peaceful, magical, beautiful haven into a filthy flop house where random people in various stages of intoxication are handed keys to come and go as they please. I've been looking for a place for about 6 months, had a few possibilities that didn't pan out and finally on the day I found out my brother had passed, I found a place!
It seemed like a message from him. I paid deposits and even paid some rent in advance to secure things. The plan was to be moved in by May 10th! I was able to relax, look forward and focus for a couple of weeks and then, the person I planned to move in with, had to move out of her place unexpectedly. Suddenly I found myself back to square one with no moving money. I have no doubt I'll be refunded but I do not know when.
"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim." -Dory (Finding Nemo)
Obviously, the place I am in is no longer a safe place for me, my cat or my property so I decided to rent a storage unit and get most things into storage quickly, then find a temporary place to regroup and focus on looking for something more permanent and positive. There have been so many challenges and moments of excitement where people offered potential storage or living space then realized they couldn't, and that's ok, just gotta keep swimming! I would always rather someone say, no, rather than offer something that’s either not possible for them to follow through on or that they are not completely comfortable with.
As of a couple of days ago, finally, I thought things were coming together for getting all my larger furniture items out of the main house. Then, whoosh! The storage unit I thought was mine come Saturday was mistakenly rented to someone else. Thank goodness I checked in today instead of showing up with a van full of furniture and nowhere to put it!
I was pretty upset at first but I centered myself and made an executive decision and a plan to handle things differently! After all, what would Durga do? She’d climb on the back of her tiger, pull out all her tools and weapons and conquer this demon!Not only that, but she'd do it with a smile on her face! I don't know about a smile right now, but I have the tools so I tried to look at things from a different perspective!
For the previous plan, a friend had generously planned to come up from the South Bay early with his cargo van (early because he had a full agenda later) and with the help of one or two others, get all my furniture out, the most urgent item being my 7 foot long sofa! New plan; instead, I will be borrowing a pickup and moving boxes only, no furniture. I'm at the top of the list now if a 5X10 opens up and I can always consolidate by moving the boxes by myself later, if necessary, from one unit to another with a hand truck. For now, the goal on Saturday is just move as many boxes as possible into a wee 5X5 unit.. I also think I will have a little help on Sunday.
Things I can't get out this weekend, I will lock up in my room!
For the previous plan, a friend had generously planned to come up from the South Bay early with his cargo van (early because he had a full agenda later) and with the help of one or two others, get all my furniture out, the most urgent item being my 7 foot long sofa! New plan; instead, I will be borrowing a pickup and moving boxes only, no furniture. I'm at the top of the list now if a 5X10 opens up and I can always consolidate by moving the boxes by myself later, if necessary, from one unit to another with a hand truck. For now, the goal on Saturday is just move as many boxes as possible into a wee 5X5 unit.. I also think I will have a little help on Sunday.
Things I can't get out this weekend, I will lock up in my room!
So all is not lost and I may even be able to get my mattress out so I can sleep elsewhere for a short while. I will know about this "elsewhere" for certain tomorrow evening. As you can imagine, after all the disappointments, I count on nothing until the agreement is signed but it's looking like I have a place to plant my mattress and my kitty for several weeks.
The silver lining in not moving furniture on Sat means that I will have more time to sell or donate items. I am going to try to post a list of stuff I'd like to sell or pass along by Monday evening, if not sooner.
The silver lining in not moving furniture on Sat means that I will have more time to sell or donate items. I am going to try to post a list of stuff I'd like to sell or pass along by Monday evening, if not sooner.
In the meantime, your continued well wishes, candles, thoughts and prayers are something I am so grateful for.
My struggle feels great but my blessings are greater by far!
My struggle feels great but my blessings are greater by far!
Let me also put these things out there if I may to those that know me personally or whom are n my area:
- I am still looking for a place to settle with my kitty. She is a support animal so in most cases a landlord can not enforce a "no pets" policy. She can also stay in my room and she often travels with me. I have a pretty tight budget. If I need to keep my storage, then my rent AND utilities are best kept under $525. If I am able to share my furnishings in common areas of a place or manage a very large room and can eliminate or downsize my storage rent/utilities can possibly stretch to $675.
- If someone has a big garage/warehouse/space sitting around empty you'd like to rent me space in for FURNITURE ONLY, let me know asap. Otherwise I am going to try to find a unit by next weekend.
- If you have work for me between the end of May and the middle of June, please let me know. OR if you know you will have work for me anytime in the next year and can prepay me (We can draw up an agreement that you have credit) I need about $2,000 NOW to get my car back and legal again or to get another vehicle. My loaner car must be returned by mid June, NO EXCEPTIONS and I am unable to do my job without a car. If I cannot get my car paid up then I will need a off street place to park it while I save. And I may need help with a loaner vehicle. It is currently at my mechanic's and he needs me to get it out of there! It is not street legal and would have to be towed. (My main job is as a petsitter but I have a myriad of skills; organizing, interior design, all kinds of personal assistance work and so much more. That's why it's called, MoreThanPets: Petsitting And More! )
- As to moving help: My end date is 5/24. I want most of my stuff gone by then. So if you would be free to assist with any moving between 5/17-5/24 assuming I can swing storage and a vehicle, please let me know. That means if I have a couple of volunteers who can come on a weekday but not weekends and I could get a truck, it could be done. Furniture wise, other than my sofa, most things are small stackable pieces like dressers, bookshelves and altar tables and can go in cars.
- I have a number of those faux metro chrome shelves I want to break down for storage. They are really hard to take apart.I have found a medium sized rubber mallet is noisy but does the trick without harming anything! Does anyone have one I could borrow next week?
- Lastly, I am still hoping to find a place to store paintings and artwork safely! Artwork and stuff attached to walls will be done at the very end.I am not moving to a permanent place so almost everything must be stored.
Lots of pleases and thank yous! <3! Gratitude Beyond Measure! - Lorelei Moon
PS: I know it's been months since I wrote anything on this site. For one, I've been wanting to do an overhaul and haven't had time. For another, I've had a lot on my plate, not all of this stressful mess but looking for the right new space at the right price has taken a great deal of my focus. Also, I've started developing the message of The Empress Dammit which is working toward a site unto itself and eventually some sort of a format tangible enough to hold in your hand! Finally, I've been funneling more of my creativity into writing and this blog, Fragmeantz. Although I am not posting every day, it has me writing every day, FINALLY!
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